End of silence, and a great news!

Alright, I haven't been here in forever. At least it would seem that way from my perspective. A lot had changed and the dawn of the new era is before us. And by us I mean me, my wife and my beautiful son born in August. He is also the reason why I didn't write a damned thing for past half a year. And now, I have a hell of a lot to write about. Not that I didn't have before but the time-out kind of pressed it all in the back of my mind and it is about ready to burst.

So, as you might expect, recent changes kind of shifted my perspective and priorities. So among other things, I will share the experience of being a stay-at-home dad. And it will be in my typical erratic ENTP alchemist kind of way. And starting point is right now.

Life and death responsibility

There is a lot written about the pregnancy and stuff around it. I'll just leave it to someone else to sketch it out fully. The entire experience is probably different for everyone. There are few moments that might come up that will surprise you and get you unprepared and you might not find anything about it anywhere.

The blood tests of my wife in first trimester came back and the values were off. We got a recommendation to visit the genetic specialist because we had a heightened probability of a developmental disorder. So, we went there because it is always better to know. The specialist had a line of questions about our families and diseases and when she went through it she proposed two methods of diagnosis - the amniocentesis and Chorionic villus sampling. The first one is more invasive and carries a higher risk of miscarriage and fetus damage (1:1600), the other on has a low reliability.  One in sixteen hundred is a risk you don't want normally to take with your child's life, however the thing they would be looking for is T18 or Trisomy of 18th chromosome, also known as an Edwards syndrome. She gave us some basic info about the procedure and the disability we were in danger of, than sent us home to think about it. We looked it both up and were petrified. She said the EdS is serious but until we read up on it we didn't understand how bad it is.
It is one of the worst things that can happen. It means heavy body and mental retardation and it is considered a fatal condition. That means 92% of the children that actually make it to the birth will die before the first year, and less than 1% will survive to the age of 10. The median lifespan is 5-15 days. And chance for a less severe or partial variant is about 5%. The time for which the baby lives, it will suffer from pain caused by an organ malfunction and deformity and therefore will be kept under morphine until the failure of the vital functions.

The choice was clear. Amniocentesis is was. We had to wait for some time before the test result will be back so we could think. There wasn't really a decision to be made but it was still hard to come to terms with it. If the child was to be diagnosed with the T18, we would go for abortion. I would not watch my baby suffer before the slow but inevitable end. There would be no point in it and any other decision would be just a cowardice and trying to avoid making a decisive move. Nothing can make you aware of the depth of your responsibility for the child as standing in the face of a possible choice to kill him.

The results came back and said that the baby is alright. When my son was born we find out that the blood test oddities were caused by his right hand, which lacked a finger and had one immobile. If you get to a situation like that you will also find out what it means to be the pillar of the family. As my father-in-law said "you can tell who is a real man when they face a situation like that." You will be the one who has to act as the family needs. There is no-one else to shift responsibility to. There is no way to step away from it. So don't try, be a man and face it. Do what is necessary.
When I noticed his hand was malformed I realized that going emotional would serve no purpose and would only stress out the vulnerable - my hormones pumped-up volatile wife and newborn son. So I assessed the damage to his hand and thought about how much it will affect him. After it, I told my wife about it as calmly and casually as I could, and tried (and succeeded) to diminish the severity of the deformation. Noting that many people lose some fingers during life (like my grandfather) and have to adjust to that (which baby born that way will not have to) helped to put it into the perspective. As your own man you could have broke down over stuff, you could pity yourself and whatever. As a father you will always have to think of the family first. It is not hard actually. You just have to accept this and realize it so you wont hesitate when the time comes.

Becoming a father is one of the deepest and most fundamental changes in your life. At least becoming a father that is worth something is. And it is wonderful and scary. You are put through a real test that cannot be avoided. You either hold and stand your ground or get crushed. And if you win, you are stronger for it.

Resources management and society

While we might live in the 3rd millennium, use the technology of the 21st century and scour the globalized world, we are thinking just like in the beginning of the industrial age when it comes to the consumption and resources management.

More is better!

Is it? Really? Yes... if the problem is not enough goods. In times, where everything was made by hand struggling to make more, effectively, precisely and cheaply was the logical way. Machinery and automation were the big bang of the day.

But hey, time to wake up. We have production surplus on pretty much everything and effectivity flies among the skies. The dominant potato chips company in the Czech Republic has about 8 employees. It's good are everywhere in tons... The companies know that they can do more than people can use. But.. "More is Better!" So they are trying to make as much goods as they can for as cheaply as they can and spend millions on persuading and manipulating people that it is their stuff they should buy of all there is.

So they are selling supersized packs, design items to break after the warrant ends and make cool fashion items like tablets and smartphones so people get a new one every few years even though they have little use or difference between them.

In the past, having more was good because there was a tons of things people actually needed. More food meant less hunger, more variety. To get a new Dishwasher or Washing machine meant you wont have to do it by the hand anymore. This is still true for most people in the developing countries.

In the developed world, this part is over. We have goods, we know how to make them cheap, effective and in a short time. We can build our machines and stuff to last as well. It is time to stop wasting resources. You know, the things wars are waged for and people dies to get a hold of. In this new dynamic world.. it is time to welcome the most production cost efficient model:

Subscription is the new way!

While having your own dishwasher or washing machine makes sense, for some items, personal ownership is just plain waste. Do you want to see an example? Cars in the city. Having a car is a great thing when you live on a farm where closest anything is a few miles away. Not like you really have a choice there anyway. In the city though... cities are clogging with huge traffic, millions of cars roaming the world streets... in 90% of the cases transporting just one person in a 5 seat vehicle and just two times a day - to work and from it. Rest of the time it sits somewhere, "rusts" and takes up a space.

Cities don't have enough space to just waste it on parking. In this case, restricted car access and filling streets with cars from subscription based car companies would heavily reduced the parking problem, the effectivity of use problem and most likely even traffic problem as the cars could be made much smaller - making much more room for them in the streets - not to mention their power consumption. Like seriously, wth do you get an SUV when you drive 10 kilometers a day on basically an easy terrain and only thing transported is your butt.

It would mean never again to have troubles with parking - you come and take any car you want and leave it anywhere you want. The only thing you carry around is a card with your credit and driving permit. Make cars autonomous (thx. google) and centrally coordinated and you won't have a problem with traffic jams, or not having car available. Make those cars electric and charging stations solar powered and you got a 3rd mil. transport solution. I wouldn't mind if they were hover cars but you know, everything in time... (sniff)

On demand production!

Ok, so some things are just not worth owning. But how about those that can't go any other way? Well, instead of making 3,000,000 pieces of a T-shirt, selling it for 10 times it's manufacturing price and than throwing 3rd of them away and writing it off as a loss...  having a portfolio and manufacture on demand would save a lot of material. And all you need is a fast, global and reliable communication channel that is widely accessible (internet anyone).

So.. thanks for reading and, if you have an idea on what could be done more effectively (and it would be practical) - share it with me in the comment below!

How will this happen?

It is actually kind of easy. It is not about companies doing it, those are around already. It is about society. When having a car is not a symbol of wealth but just a necessity for a few people. When having everything you want available 24/7 anywhere is not a requirement. When having a new smartphone with a 14 new completely useless functions is cool... than we can work it out. First the mindset of the industrial age have to go. Than we can actually move somewhere. The people have to understand and grow up soon. Until then - companies will just work the way they did until now.